We all know that person who “goes off” when confronted. We all know the person who is too shy to speak up, the person who is too proud to apologize, and the person who doesn’t understand the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. We’ve all walked away from a conversation either wishing we hadn’t said what we’d said, wishing we’d held our tongue, or scratching our head after someone else said what they said. Sometimes we don’t have a clue how to react or even if we should react, how to speak up, or how to defend ourselves in a non-threatening way. Sometimes we react in ways that hurt us or other people.
Every person has a unique style of communicating yet many have no idea how much it impacts every aspect of their life. It’s something we do every day and yet most people have no formal training to do it. Whether we’re at home disciplining kids, having a marital disagreement, meeting with the boss or co-workers, discussing children with teachers, or just being in social settings, we are more likely get the desired results depending on HOW we say what we need to say.
HOW GOOD ARE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS?
REVIEW THIS CHECKLIST TO FIND OUT
• Are you “bossy”?
• Do you filter your thoughts before you speak?
• Do you feel like you hurt people with your words?
• Are you too proud to apologize?
• Can you differentiate between assertiveness and aggression?
• Do you blurt out your feelings before you have time to “cool off”?
• Do you often feel completely misunderstood?
• Do you know the “24-hour rule”?
• Do you avoid social situations because you don’t know how to talk to people?
• Do you practice “I” statements?
• Do you find yourself saying yes when you really mean to say no? (Does the model at the cosmetic counter intimidate you into buying that expensive perfume that you really can’t afford? Do you walk away being mad at yourself for buying it?)
• Do you send mixed messages?
• Does silence make you uncomfortable?
• Do you often feel like you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth?
• When you try to be assertive, does it just make things worse?
• Do you keep quiet because you don’t know HOW to get your point across?
• Are you basically shy and want help to draw you out so that you can, “get in the game”?
• Do you believe “positive speaking” has value?
• Do you feel like sometimes you interrupt and don’t mean to?
• Do you often leave a conversation thinking, “I wish I’d never said that"?
• Can you talk to people you know but not to people you don’t know?
• Are you confident enough to start a conversation, to be the initiator?
• Do you find yourself looking away so that you won’t HAVE to talk to someone because you don’t know what to say?
• Still yet, do you feel shy or embarrassed or afraid to talk to anyone??
• Do you know the importance of timing, surroundings, eye contact, volume, etc?
• Are your communication skills up to par or are they holding you back from getting the job you want, winning the argument, making yourself understood, being the person in the group everyone WANTS to hear talk?
Welcome to One-On-One Coaching for effective communication. If you answered yes to any of the questions above then you could be a candidate for improving your people skills through coaching. Email me for a free 20 minute consultation and let’s talk about how you can be a better one-on-one communicator. You’ll be glad you did.
LIFE IS PRECIOUS,
TIME IS PRECIOUS
Don’t let your life get away from you. Don’t let it pass you by. Don’t wake up tomorrow wishing you had started something yesterday. Start it today. I offer a free 20 minute telephone consultation to determine if we’re a good match before you commit to more than that. You and I both need to feel good about working together. I wouldn’t do it any other way.